Failed Attempts at Trying to Look Sexy!

Artist, blogger, freelance writer. Experiences include art, DIY, gardening, storm-spotting, caregiving, farming, reading, and kid wranglin’. But that doesn’t mean we can’t have a good laugh every now at the expense of the lonely and desperate. Especially those who advertise themselves on the public market with such an amusing array of humorous, weird, and shocking words. In another article, I highlighted some of the most bizarre, arrogant, and downright creepy ads posted by men. Here, we will see what the ladies have to say.

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Sep 28, Getty 1. We’re guaranteed to make your day better, like a human version of pizza. Had a crappy day at work?

– World’s Best Casual Personals for online dating. Search millions of personals from singles, couples, swingers looking for fun, browse sexy photos and more.

June 26, Well Said: Funny Real Estate Listing Blurbs! I flip through a lot of real estate listings A LOT! Probably more than most Realtors on a daily basis. You know what I mean. They follow a common script with few variations. Gets the information across clear and succinctly.

Study: 7 Secrets for “Dating Profile Headlines” (With Examples)

It all took place at a brunch birthday party for my friend. After finishing brunch, we were having a few drinks. I sauntered over to a table where a really cute girl named Jessica was talking to her roommate and three of my buddies.

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All posts must make an attempt at humor. We won’t remove posts where the humor is crappy or unfunny that’s a subjective judgement , but every post must make at least some attempt at humor. No posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example. This includes asking for upvotes and posts about your cakeday. Reposts will be removed at the moderators’ discretion. Serial reposters will be banned. Posts which result in harassment of any individual, subreddit, or other entity may be removed at the moderators’ discretion.

No Politics Anything involving politics or a political figure. No Pictures of just text This includes pictures of text with irrelevant images and photographs of signs that have no relevance to their surroundings. Make a self-post instead. No DAE posts 8. Direct links to images hosted on tumblr ex. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Funny Profile Generator for Online Dating

These are external links and will open in a new window Close share panel Image copyright Thinkstock January is a boom month for the online dating industry as millions turn to the internet to find love. But composing a profile that makes you sound fascinating and unique is harder than it sounds. In the process, millions of people will try to summarise their characters in just a few paragraphs.

But anyone who browses a few profiles will quickly become very familiar with a handful of phrases.

Jan 27,  · Edit Article How to Write a Personal Ad. In this Article: Writing the Ad Editing the Ad Sample Personal Ads Community Q&A Writing a personal ad can be nerve-racking if you don’t know where to begin. You may feel the need to hide your flaws lest you will scare off that special : 55K.

Are they in the witness protection program? After a cursory Google search, it’s clear there are plenty of dating sites tailor-made for the over crowd, not to mention the dozens created for the twenty-and-thirty-somethings. Surprisingly, she says, people are more honest there. But let’s start at the beginning. Ellen has dabbled in online dating for almost two decades. And for a few years, I had profiles on Match and J-Date up at the same time.

A stand-up comedian by night, she has a great sense of humor. And, like the rest of the millions of people registered on dating sites and apps across the internet, she finds dating exciting, if not simultaneously exhausting. So after a grueling 17 years in the online dating world, Ellen decided to get back to basics.

Funny Ideas for Dating Profiles

Following the ceremony there will be no reception. To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. Toyota has announced it will start integrating Microsoft technology into their vehicles. Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Give a man Twitter, and he will forget to eat and starve to death.

No, we are talking about online dating profiles; specifically, online dating profiles to attract men. You would be surprised as to how many women turn to online dating. If you assumed that men were the only ones having trouble picking up decent women at a bar, then you assumed wrong.

More people are killed annually by donkeys than die in air crashes. Every citizen of Kentucky is required by law to take a bath once a year. No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver and purple. The United States has never lost a war in which mules were used. The only two nations whose name begins with an “A,” but doesn’t end in an “A,” are Afghanistan and Azerbaijan. Duelling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.

Every dog in my house is required by law to take a bath once a year. Why are boxing rings square?

Cocky and funny lines – The truth about David DeAngelo

Not only that, this ad made it onto The Best of Craigslist. And 6 feet tall? What kind of shoes are you wearing anyway? Some shit from the lunar landing? Why would you be afraid of your own imaginary friend? Does that mean I want to live in the woods for a month and wipe my ass with a pine cone?

The last time you caught yourself giggling at the Gecko, did you wonder about the zany and brilliant minds who create the GEICO ad campaigns? Take a peek behind the scenes and meet the cast and crew who make these iconic ad spots come to life.

Considering that they run a massive sale about now, what better time to place an order? The BDSM gear on sale this year includes many items seen before on Bondage Blog, such as bondage tape previously , the ice lock previously , magnetic nipple clamps previously , leather bunny hoods previously , the red Bolero straitjacket previously , the Joanna Angels Bondage Essentials starter restraints kit previously , the Bondage kit previously , and that perennial crowd-pleasing favorite, the spandex blowjob hood previously.

And if your bondage budget is seriously constrained, these pink neoprene-and-velcro wrist-or-ankle cuffs for less than fifteen bucks a pair as discounted for the sale look like a nice bargain. Get two sets maybe? Either of these would make an excellent fetish gift for the budget-conscious. The first is the Scandal lace hood: And finally, this simple and inexpensive leather choker with heart-shaped padlock functional lock, choker available in red or black seems like an instant classic: The sale has about 2.

So get to work! Elsewhere on Bondage Blog:

FUNNIEST DATING ADS (Part 3) TINDER EDITION